Getting Through (Only You Book 3) Read online

  Table of Contents

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  About the Author

  Getting Through

  J.S. Finley

  Contents

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  About the Author

  Introduction

  What if it’s too difficult to get through the rough patches?

  Lane:

  Being a nurse is Lane’s life, that is until Mike pushes him up against that damn door and kisses him like nobody’s business.

  Now he’s left wondering how he can live without Mike at his side. But beneath the sweet, calm exterior Mike portrays to the world is something dark and dangerous. Will Lane be able to deal with the monster within, or will it consume both of them.

  Mike:

  He can’t unsee the damage that bomb wrought or bring back his friend, but he can find solace in Lane’s arms…or he thinks he can.

  One night together is too much, and his memories overwhelm him, opening him up to the trauma he witnessed. Memories are hard to conquer because they don’t have to fight back, they just twist their way deep into the mind, making life too hard to tolerate.

  Can Lane save him, or will he push them both too far when the past threatens to overwhelm them.

  Copyright © 2017 by J. S. Finley

  Cover Copyright © 2017 Sara York

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.

  Warning: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $ 250,000. https://www.fbi.gov/about-us/investigate/white_collar/ipr/ipr. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author's rights and livelihood is appreciated. Straight Up is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Licensed material is being used for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted in the licensed material is a model.

  Created with Vellum

  No book comes about without help. I want to thank my husband for standing beside me. He’s been good to me, very good, and I don’t deserve him. Thank you, my love.

  I have to thank Red Quill Editing LLC. They’ve been amazing to work with. Without their help, I would have been lost.

  My friends who encouraged me to put pen to paper, well really finger to keyboard, thank you. You know who you are, and you are special.

  To those who spent their lives doubting me, suck it! I’m happy and your doubt didn’t prevent me from succeeding.

  1

  Emptiness filled Lane as he watched the blue ocean appear then disappear as condos and other buildings slipped by. Mike made a left, heading away from the slice of heaven they’d all enjoyed for the last few days. Maybe it was just the trip ending, but he thought it was more.

  He watched Mike, noticing the stubble on his jaw and how it covered his chin and went down his neck. They stopped for a light, and Mike glanced at him, his lips curved up in a smile that made Lane’s stomach twist. Why it made him feel funny, he had no clue.

  “So what do you really think about Thomas and Clay?”

  Mike’s question threw him. “What am I supposed to say?”

  Mike shrugged then went back to looking at the road as the light changed to green. “I don’t know; tell me what you really think.”

  He stared out the front windshield for a moment, wondering how to answer the question. “Well, I like Clay. I guess I just…”

  Another light stopped them, and Mike turned to look at him with his brows raised. “Are you jealous?”

  “What?” Lane couldn’t believe Mike had asked him if he was jealous. “Why would I be jealous?”

  “Just, you know, you thought you would get with Thomas if he was going to get with anyone?”

  Lane shook his head. “No. Not at all. I’m not jealous. It’s not like that.”

  “Talk. We don’t have long before we get to the airport.”

  The light changed again, and Mike took off. Lane turned to stare out the window, unsure how to voice what he felt. “I don’t like being alone.”

  “Then get out there and date someone.”

  He shook his head and turned to stare at Mike. The scene out the window wasn’t as interesting since they’d turned down a street away from the water. He missed the water, but what he missed more was the guys and being with them. “I can’t find anyone.”

  Mike chuckled. “Tell me about it. I’m surrounded by sexy women while I’m at work, but I can’t connect with them.”

  Depression made his head ache. Or maybe he was depressed, because in addition to having no clue what to do, his head hurt. What if he never figured life out? He would be one of those old men at the bars looking to pick up young women who had no interest in a rotten old fart. He shivered at the mental image.

  Mike’s words interrupted his thoughts. “I’ll be in New York next week.”

  “You should stop by.” The words were out before he even could think what that would mean. He worked nights and slept during the day.

  Mike was silent for a while, and they were close to the airport before he spoke again. “If I came up on Tuesday, could I stay at your place?”

  His earlier trepidation was gone. Screw sleeping, he’d have Mike with him. He nodded, excitement filling him. “I’d like that. I have to work on Tuesday night, but I’m off on Wednesday and Thursday nights.”

  Mike shot him a sweet grin. He pushed the tingly feelings away and rolled his eyes when Mike looked away.

  “Works for me. I’m working a little on Thursday and most of the afternoon and night on Friday. I’ll stay until Sunday.”

  “Awesome. It’ll be good seeing you again.” He meant it too. He could sleep after Mike went home.

  They pulled into the parking lot for the rental return, and his chest squeezed. If he thought he’d been melancholy before, this was way worse. He didn’t want to head home. He’d been alive when he was with the guys. T
he vacation had been great, but it reminded him of how much he missed his brothers—and they were his brothers. Seeing Mike next week would be good. Heck, he wished they lived closer. He wanted to see everyone more often, but for now, Skype would have to do.

  They got their bags out of the trunk and headed into the terminal after they handed over the keys to the car. Heat was building, and he was happy to be heading back to cooler temperatures. At least he told himself he was happy to leave. Actually, he wanted them all to stay here and live together. Maybe not together, but dammit, they should be closer to each other.

  Once inside, they headed upstairs to security. They both passed through without any issues. Mike’s flight was leaving soon, so he had to go. Mike pulled him into a hug and Lane held on, not wanting to let Mike leave. It had been an amazing vacation and he didn’t want it to end.

  “Hey, I’ll see you on Tuesday. I’ll call when I’m close.” He squeezed Lane again then backed away.

  “Sure, have a safe trip home.” He hated saying those words. Their home should be together.

  “You bet.”

  Mike gave a quick wave and was gone. Lane felt like his heart had been torn out. He missed Thomas and Clay, and Brent and Jake, but he missed Mike most of all.

  He checked his phone and saw he had about twenty minutes before he needed to head to his gate. Standing around crying wouldn’t fix his problems; instead, he grabbed a coffee and a muffin, eating and drinking like he had found an oasis in a parched land.

  Mike’s flight was probably boarding, and Jake and Brent were already gone. Sadness seemed to make the last of the muffin drier, or maybe his throat had closed with emotions that made it hard to swallow. He popped the last bite of muffin in his mouth and drank the last of his coffee before walking to his gate.

  Staring out at the tarmac, he thought it looked as bleak as he felt. A plane rolled by on the runway, the nose lifting as it started its journey. Had Mike’s plane already taken off? He missed the guy. Hell, he missed everyone. Pain knifed his heart.

  The flight home was uneventful. Stepping into his empty apartment was even more of a buzzkill. After eating a quick lunch, he dropped into bed so he’d be ready for his night shift. Going through the motions had never left him feeling so depressed.

  He woke, ate, showered, and headed in to work. For now, he was living in Jersey and working as a nurse in the city at Mount Sinai West. It was crazy busy, but a good place to work. He’d learned so much in such a short period of time.

  He doubted he could keep up the fast pace for long, but it did keep him busy. After work, he counted out the days until Mike showed up. He just had to get through a few more sleeps and then he would see his buddy.

  The weekend was terrible because it rained. There was a huge wreck just before the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel and five of the nine injured had been brought to the ER where he worked. His lucky day. He worked like crazy, not even stopping to piss until almost four in the morning. By the time he made it home on Sunday, he was exhausted. He slept until midday. Mike was set to land on Tuesday close to one and would be at his place around two. Excitement buzzed through him, and he headed to the grocery store, making sure to pick up enough food for Mike and some beer for both of them. Being able to shop at all hours was one thing he loved about the area. Sure, in Manhattan it was a little more around the clock in terms of shopping and stuff, but where he lived in Jersey, stores stayed open late.

  When he was in Florida, he’d been entranced with the silence. Here, he never got any peace and quiet. At one point while he’d been on vacation, he’d almost gone outside to honk the horn just so he felt normal.

  He had to work on Monday night, so he was glad he’d gotten his shopping done on Sunday evening. When he got home on Tuesday morning, he set an alarm before dropping into bed. Exhaustion pulled him under fast, and he slept hard, waking to someone pounding on his door instead of his alarm which was still ringing.

  He rolled out of bed and grabbed his phone, turning off the annoying beeping, but it must not have been annoying enough because he’d slept right through it. He stumbled to the door, unhappy he’d overslept. He’d wanted everything to be perfect for Mike and here he was sleep rumpled and looking like crap.

  “Hey, buddy— Oh shit, you look like hell. You okay?” Mike asked.

  “Yeah, I just—” Lane wiped a hand over his face before shaking his head. “Sorry, I just woke up. It was a long night. Give me coffee and I’ll be good.”

  “Hey, if it’s too much for me to stay here…”

  “No, stay. I have beer and some food in the fridge. I’m starving. Do you want some breakfast or lunch, or whatever time it is? I just need some food and coffee. God, I need coffee. Let me piss and brush my teeth.”

  “Sure man, I’ll look for something. Go take a quick shower, and I’ll put together some stuff.”

  Lane nodded and moved to his small bathroom, pushing his underwear to the floor before shutting the door. A hot shower helped, and he was out in no time, excited to have Mike at his place.

  He wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door to the wonderful scent of cooking food. “Dang, that smells great. What did you cook for me?”

  Mike laughed and turned, his eyelids narrowing as his lips twisted. “I’m making a pizza.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. You had all the ingredients so I whipped up the dough for a crust. I’m pulling it all together now.”

  He moved to the kitchen and bumped Mikes shoulder. “You’re amazing.”

  “It’s the least I could do. You know, you’re letting me stay with you for free.”

  “Ha! You’re welcome here any time. You can have the bed tonight. I have to head to work at around six.”

  “You going to be okay?” Mike asked.

  “Yeah, I’m good. I’ll take some hits off the oxygen when I get there, and I’ll feel better. Best way to clear my head.”

  “Better than drugs.”

  “So true. So, I was wondering, after we eat, do you want to go into the city? I can drop my bag off at the hospital, and we can do some touristy stuff.”

  Mike nodded. “Sounds good. I have an appointment tomorrow morning, so I’ll be out of your hair, then we can have some fun in the evening.”

  He headed toward his bedroom and dropped his towel before grabbing his underwear. Again, he’d not closed the door. When he turned, he saw Mike spin around. Had Mike been watching him?

  He closed the door before he tugged on his jeans and a shirt. He packed a bag for work, making sure he had an extra set of scrubs in case something happened during his shift. One shift, some dude threw up all over him. It happened, so now he was always prepared.

  He heard the kitchen timer beep and opened the door. “Mmm, smells delicious.”

  Mike glanced up and hit him with a wide grin. “Thanks. It’s almost ready. Four more minutes and it will be perfect.”

  “Thank you. You’re a great friend. Cooking me food and all. It’s really nice. Thank you.”

  “No problem. I was hungry, and you looked like hell.”

  “Gosh, thanks.”

  Mike burst out laughing. “I’m having a beer, want one?”

  “Can’t. I have to work tonight. If anything happens, I’ll be questioned, and I never drink before work. Of course, that means I do drink at eight in the morning. Weird, I know.”

  “Not weird. I can see drinking then.”

  The timer rang and Mike turned, opened the oven, and pulled out the pizza. Lane’s stomach rumbled.

  “It looks great.”

  Mike glanced over his shoulder, and Lane swore he saw heat there.

  “Let me cut it, then we can eat,” Mike said.

  He pulled out plates and grabbed himself a bottled cold coffee from the fridge. Mike’s beer was almost finished so he grabbed another for his friend. Mike served him three slices and he took the plate to the table, ready to eat. Mike sat close and picked up the new beer, taking a sip.

 
“Thanks for the beer.”

  “Sure.” Lane took a bite of the pizza and moaned. “This is perfect,” he said after swallowing. They ate mostly in silence interspersed with grunts of approval. He stood after he finished his three slices and grabbed another slice.

  “Do you want more?” He asked Mike.

  “Sure, another slice would be great.”

  He liked having Mike around. It felt natural. There were a couple of women he’d dated who were so annoying he wanted to kick them to the curb before he even got to the good stuff. He didn’t have too many close friends from work. There were two guys he hung out with sometimes, but mostly, he didn’t have anyone to chill with. Having Mike around was great.

  “You ready to head out?” Lane asked.

  “Sure, let me use the restroom and then I’ll be good to go.”

  “Okay. I’ll clean up the kitchen, then we can leave.”

  Lane washed the dishes Mike had used and wrapped up the two left over slices. He grabbed a key from a drawer and slid it into his pocket. When Mike came out of the bathroom, he took the key and handed it to his buddy.

  “Here you go.”

  “Thanks.”

  “I’ll be home close to eight. Want me to bring home some breakfast?”

  “No, I’ll have something ready for you.”

  “Okay. Sounds good.”

  They left the apartment and stopped by his work, leaving his bag in a locker before they walked over to Central Park. There were a few people on bikes, the normal vendors, and a group doing yoga. They walked north, heading past Tavern On The Green before taking a seat in the Sheep Meadow.

  He leaned back on his elbows and stared up at the sky. While he was yawning, Mike patted him on the shoulder.